People in love make me want to vomit
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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