like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you would pick up someone in the library
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
