In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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