Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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