Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
