Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize