What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I could fuck to npr.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
