Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
