This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
