Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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