10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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