i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
