Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize