everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
