Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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