you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
