The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
