I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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