I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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