whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you had me at cake vodka
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
