guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
