My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
