this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pants are for mortals
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
