Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
