my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
