You're completely useless in the revolution.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
