So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
