I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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