Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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