You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A bitchslap is in order.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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