After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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