Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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