Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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