you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
