did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
