Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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