Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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