AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
