Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
