i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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