I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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