i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just pee around me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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