can u get pink eye on your cock?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
