i don't like sucking hair
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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