Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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