we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
