We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
