I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
