Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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