First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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