Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize