I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
