made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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