I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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