How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
