I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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