if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
