Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon