I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.