Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
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I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex