i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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