I just made out with a guy for $7.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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