He had one of those small greek statue penises
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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