Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
