I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
