Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I love you.
Bad choice
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize