The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
