I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
