You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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