i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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