kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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