my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
