He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
